Couples/Relationship Therapy for Your
Non-Traditional Relationship

From Soulmate to Roommate

You were the envy of your friends and kidding/not kidding believed that you shared a soul. You used to do everything together. Your sex life dwindled to nothing years ago, but that seemed like a small price to pay for this connection.

Now, one of you feels stifled and wonders why you can’t just get some damn space. Also, you feel incredibly guilty about even wanting that. The other is stunned, hurt, and confused.

Both of you are terrified to speak your truth. There’s so much that you haven’t said – years and years of it.

Constant Fighting

You are about to throw in the towel. Even when it’s calm, you’re waiting for the slightest little thing to ignite an atomic explosion. Most nights feel like World War III or recovering from another brutal battle.

You’ve heard that a good fight or disagreement can bring you closer together with your partner. You don’t know how to do that. All you know is explosions followed by distance and sulkiness; then clumsy efforts at papering it all over.

Your sex life used to be hot and fulfilling. Now it’s become a source of stress and hurt feelings.

You wonder if you’ll make it through another day. Forget about forever!

It’s Harder for People in Marginalized Communities

Whether you’re gay, straight, pansexual; polyamorous, ethically non-monogamous, or monogamous, relationships are super meaningful. When a relationship is going well, it gives us a sense of security, and “I can do this.” When it’s going poorly, it’s the most painful thing a person can experience.

Unfortunately, most of us didn’t grow up learning good relationship skills. There are a lot of horrible relationships modeled. And a ton of damaging, toxic ideas about love are circulating out there.

These difficulties are magnified for people in alternative (queer, kinky, and/or polyamorous) relationships. We don’t get as much community, cultural, or family support as people in more normative relationship structures. And so, we lean more heavily on our partners.

Good news, though: help is available!

What We’ll Do Together

Sessions are mostly held with both/all partners. At times, I’ll meet one-on-one with each of you. This is so that I can gain a clearer picture of your backgrounds. This is particularly true when other mental health issues and trauma are in the mix.

Hopefully, we won’t just rehash the argument that you had the week before. That’s not useful. Instead, we’ll talk about the process. I’ll play referee only in so far as I will help both parties “fight fair.”

In short, when you seek support with me, we will work collaboratively to develop a plan of action. We will improve each individual’s satisfaction and contentment within their relationship(s). It will be hard. And if we do it well, it will be infinitely rewarding.

Specifically…

I’ll help each partner see the ways they contribute to the difficulties in the relationship. And I’ll invite each person to stop doing whatever they do to stoke the fires of dysfunction. Together, we’ll figure out what each person needs to start doing more of that helps make the relationship more functional.

You’ll learn about trauma and how it affects people in our most intimate relationships. And we’ll implement tools and techniques to help partners get out of retraumatizing/re-triggering patterns.

What You Need Depends on the Pattern You’re in

If you’re a couple that doesn’t speak honestly with each other, I’ll help create a space where you can speak ‘you’ more honestly. Even though it’s terrifying. Especially when it’s terrifying.

If you’re a couple where there’s too much anger, I’ll help you control it so that you can get back to connecting and understanding one another.

Don’t Wait Another Minute Longer!

On average, people wait six years too long before they enter relationship counseling. That means eons of suffering, pain, anger, and quiet despair that doesn’t have to be that way.

Your Next Step

To schedule an appointment for relationship counseling, call/text (917) 687-8445 today. Or schedule a free consultation call to see if we would be a good fit to work together.

I promise I won’t make your relationship configurations an issue if it isn’t a problem for you. I know that polyamorous, queer, and/or kinky relationships can be fulfilling and satisfying. Together, let’s figure out how to make yours that way once again.