About

You have important feelings to share.

The tears start as soon as you sit down in front of me. You’re surprised. Undoing this pattern of self-neglect is a more enormous deal than you thought it would be.

As your therapist, I’m always interested in what you have to say and less interested in what your boss, mother, and partner think. It may surprise you to discover that you have lots of strong opinions and feelings about many topics! Allowing yourself to know your mind and your feelings – without self-censoring – is a game-changer.

Telling people your truths is the next step.

Self-care isn’t bubble baths and treating yourself with chocolate. It’s having that hard conversation with a dear friend you’ve been avoiding for months. It’s telling your partner, “No, that doesn’t work for me.” It’s expressing anger in a straightforward way rather than holding onto it until it explodes. Self-care leads to stronger, healthier relationships.

You sit with the terror of waiting to see how they’ll react. Will she be able to meet you in this new place? Or will it mean having to move on, to excise him (with love), along with other places and things that no longer serve?

It’s so scary to cast off the facade of an agreeable peacekeeper and embrace your “inner bitch”– yet so gratifying.

Who knew that life could be this juicy?

You revert to an older pattern: waiting for an all-knowing therapist (mother, lover, mentor) to come in and rescue you. I point this out, and we smile, ruefully about it.

“Oh, hi, old friend. I see what you’re doing.”

Hesitantly, imperfectly, you do take control. And things get better once again.

You take the brave next action – your self-esteem increases. There is a causal relationship between these two events.

A playful side re-emerges. It’s been waiting for you to find it. Other hidden parts of yourself emerge. Life is richer and fuller.

Grief arises – shocking in its intensity.

You mourn the lost years and all the time wasted. The effort put into trying to make relationships that weren’t going anywhere work through sheer will.

Your life falls apart, and somehow, you’re still fundamentally ok. You learn what it’s like to have a caring someone be there with you step by step as you pick up all the pieces and put them back together. Your life is now a beautiful mosaic – embellished by gorgeous patterns made from older shapes.

A Sweet Moment Arises.

And a tear trickles down your cheek as you recognize this partner does indeed show you love. Her many acts of care and bids for attention meet the needs for which you longed. You let love in, swim in it – and it feels so good!

You get a job more in line with your passions, and it pays better, too! You no longer worry about so many little things. You’re amazed at how life shows up for you when you show up for yourself.

Create a plan for life’s journey.

When we start working together, I’ll challenge you to be specific about where you’re trying to get. Once you can articulate that, we’ll work together to develop a map – a plan – for how to help you get there. I take a strong lead, but you’re an integral part of figuring out where you want to get and how to get you there. I’ll check in often to make sure that we agree about what we’re doing and why.

I have strong opinions about the curative effect of therapy. Facing mixed feelings – the love and the hate – we feel toward important people in our lives is vital. I like big feelings. They’re there. Let’s meet them. They are the superhighway to a superior life.

But if you need help to figure out how to have that complicated conversation with a friend, I’m down for the brass tacks of that, too. I’m always open to your excellent ideas. We’ll figure it out together.

I primarily work with patients long-term. At some point, we switch from doing therapy – helping with anxiety, depression, shitty relationship patterns – to something more like life coaching. We work to help you get more cookies in your life. More pleasure, more security, more joy!