Posts by Kyra Grosman
How to live together, suddenly, under duress with your long term sweetie
Suddenly, you’re living with your sweetie. You hadn’t planned on doing it, but with sheltering in place being the normal, it seemed better than the alternative, which would have been not to see them at all. Because you know you’d miss them dreadfully. And now you’re realizing that it was an absolutely terrible idea. Your…
Read MoreWhat Do Healthy (Polyamorous) Relationships Look Like?
As someone who consults with clinicians regarding polyamory/consensual non-monogamy, I frequently get asked what healthy polyamorous relationship look like. The answer is that they look surprisingly similar to monogamous healthy relationships. But then there’s the rub. Because when I ask people (including clinicians) what healthy relationships look like, people often aren’t sure. Many of my…
Read MoreMindfulness When You Are Triggered
I’m working my way through Pat Ogden and Janina Fisher’s groundbreaking work on “Sensorimotor Psychotherapy: Interventions for Trauma and Attachment”. The book, which is primarily aimed at therapists, provides a wealth of interventions people can use (often with the aid of a therapist) to heal past traumatic events and traumatic relationship patterns. Trauma can make…
Read MoreProcrastination is an emotion regulation problem
A recent article by Charlotte Lieberman in the New York Times argues that procrastination has nothing to do with self-control. Rather, procrastination stems from a difficulty with emotional control! Procrastination is the habitual or intentional delay of starting or finishing a task despite knowing that doing well will have negative consequences. We know that avoiding…
Read MorePolyamory: Some Tips to Avoid Turning Your Newly Opened Relationship into a Flaming Wreck
People can have wonderful, loving relationships that don’t follow monogamous scripts. As someone who has over fifteen years experience working and playing with people engaged in polyamorous and ethical non-monogamous relationships, I’ve seen numerous examples of how it can work incredibly well. At the same time, I’ve heard and witnessed a lot of horror stories.…
Read MoreSelf-Care When You are Scared and Sad
Self-care is damn hard work when you do it right. It’s especially hard to do when you most need it. Find out why that is and what you can do when you’re struggling to take good enough care of yourself and your relationships.
Read MoreCommon (and Uncommon) Symptoms of Anxiety
You might be familiar with tense shoulders and an elevated heart-rate as a symptoms of anxiety. How about nausea or ringing in the ears? Read about other symptoms of anxiety here.
Read MoreAm I in a Codependent Relationship?
Codependency is when two people with dysfunctional personality traits become worse together. Read this to learn more about co-dependency.
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