Posts by Kieran Grosman

How to live together, suddenly, under duress with your long term sweetie

Suddenly, you’re living with your sweetie. You hadn’t planned on doing it, but with sheltering in place being the normal, it seemed better than the alternative, which would have been not to see them at all. Because you know you’d miss them dreadfully. And now you’re realizing that it was an absolutely terrible idea. Your…

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What Do Healthy (Polyamorous) Relationships Look Like?

As someone who consults with clinicians regarding polyamory/consensual non-monogamy, I frequently get asked what healthy polyamorous relationship look like. The answer is that they look surprisingly similar to monogamous healthy relationships. But then there’s the rub. Because when I ask people (including clinicians) what healthy relationships look like, people often aren’t sure. Many of my…

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Mindfulness When You Are Triggered

I’m working my way through Pat Ogden and Janina Fisher’s groundbreaking work on “Sensorimotor Psychotherapy: Interventions for Trauma and Attachment”. The book, which is primarily aimed at therapists, provides a wealth of interventions people can use (often with the aid of a therapist) to heal past traumatic events and traumatic relationship patterns. Trauma can make…

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Procrastination is an emotion regulation problem

A recent article by Charlotte Lieberman in the New York Times argues that procrastination has nothing to do with self-control. Rather, procrastination stems from a difficulty with emotional control! Procrastination is the habitual or intentional delay of starting or finishing a task despite knowing that doing well will have negative consequences. We know that avoiding…

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Self-Care When You are Scared and Sad

Self-care is damn hard work when you do it right. It’s especially hard to do when you most need it. Find out why that is and what you can do when you’re struggling to take good enough care of yourself and your relationships.

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